N.A.S.A LIES

NO CRAFT OCT 14, I’LL JUST HAVE TO USE THE “ DEACON JUMPROOM “ INSTEAD !!!.


HI

I GOT UP THIS MORNING EXPECTING A SEAT ON THE 300 MILE

SPACESHIP THAT WAS MENT TO TURN UP, I WAS PLANNING ON HITCHING

A LIFT TO MARS TO ACLIMATISE FOR TRAINING, ALONGSIDE MY

PRELIMINARY SCEDUALLED, FIRST ROUND HEAT, IN THE PRESTIGIOUS,

“MARTIAN ALLCOMERS, PING PONG TOURNEMENT, 2009 “ HEY !!! I

THOUGHT IT WOULD BE THERE AS WELL !!! I DECIDED NOT TO DWELL ON

MY STUPIDITY AS IT WOULD AFFECT MY GAME. I JUST STROLLED ALONG

TO THE NEAREST “ JUMPROOM “ AND JUST AS THE DOOR WAS CLOSING, A

LONG STALF, BEAUTIFULY CARVED WITH GOLD INLAYS, BLOCKED THE

DOOR AT THE LAST MINUTE. AS THE DOOR SWUNG OPEN, TO MY SHEER

AMAZEMENT STOOD A LARGE CLOAKED FIGURE, WITH A RATHER

STRANGE HAT, BALLANCED ON HIS NAPPER. “ ROOM FOR ONE MORE “

SAID THE GENTLEMAN. “ SURE, COME IN MY FRIEND, ALL ABOARD FOR

CYDONIA “ HIS CLOAK WAS MADE FROM A DARK CRIMSON RED VELVET,

EMBROIDERED WITH GOLD AND SILVER THREAD. THE TYPE OF THING

YOU WOULD WEAR TO THE PUB, ON SATURDAY NIGHT. AS I WAS

STRIKING UP A SPLIF OF “ REPTILLIAN SKUNK “ I POLITELY ASKED “ ARE

YOU GOING FOR THE TOURNEMEMT SIR ? “ NO. NO SONNY, MY DAYS OF

PLAYING AT THE VERY TOP LEVEL ARE WELL BEHIND ME, IT’S A YOUNG

MANS GAME TODAY !!! “. VERY GRACIOUS INDEED AND A DAMN FINE

FELLOW. ARE YOU AN OFFICAL SIR ?? I ENQUIRED…??? WELL IM MANY

THINGS WHILE ON MARS, MOSTLY “ BLACK OPPERATIONS “ SO ITS ALL A

BIT “ HUSH, HUSH “ HE SAID. “ I’M DOWN TO UMPIRE THE SEMI-FINAL IN

MARCH, SO IF MY SERIOUS WORK IS FINNISHED BY THEN, I WILL BE AT

THE ARENA NEXT YEAR !!! EVEN N.A.S.A. COULDN’T KEEP ME AWAY !!!

OH !! HOW WE LAUGHED !!! “ . NEXT THING WE KNEW, AS QUICK AS YOU

COULD SAY “ DR HACKINTHEBUSH “ THE DOOR OF THE JUMPROOM

SWUNG OPEN AND WE WERE SAYING FAREWELL. I TOOK ONE LAST DRAG

ON MY “REPTILLIAN SPLIFF “ GREEN BUD IS WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN

HELIUM 3 HERE ON MARS, AND SET OFF FOR THE TOURNEMENT. AS I

STARTED TO WALK AWAY, I REALISED THAT I NEVER EVEN ASKED THE

CHAPS NAME. I SPUN AROUND AND SHOUTED “ HEY MAN ! WHAT’S YOUR

NAME ??? “ THE RED CLOAK SWIRLED AND DISSAPEARED INTO THE

CROWD. IT WAS A MYSTERY WRAPPED WITHIN AN ENIGMA !!! ON FIRST

SIGHT, I THOUGHT HE WAS THE POPE !!! MAYBE SOMEONE NOT SO HIGH

UP IN THE PECKING ORDER, A PRIEST !! OR MAYBE BE EVEN A DEACON !!

I GIGGLED AS I CONTEMPLATED THE SYNCRONISITY, BUT SOMETHING

TOLD ME I WOULD INDEED BE ENCOUNTERING THIS “ DEACON FELLOW “

IN THE FUTURE !!! LETS HOPE IT’S IN THE SEMI FINALS, AS I CAN DO WITH

AS MUCH HELP TO BEAT *x^!^~.3*\\ AS I CAN GET !!!



PS: I MADE IT THROUGH TO THE NEXT ROUND, AS MY “ PING PONGING “

ABILITIES ARE A BIT SHARPER THIS YEAR. THE “ PHARMS “ MY OLD

COACH ( DR ****FORBRAINS ) HAD ME ON WERE OVERPRESCRIBED, AND

HE WAS SUBSEQUENTLY REMOVED FROM THIS POSITION AND DECLARED

A PROPHET. ( HE DECLARED THIS ALL BY HIMSELF, AS NO ONE ELSE

THOUGHT THIS AT ALL. ) WE JUST THOUGHT HE WAS A CRIMINAL AND AN

EGOTISTICAL MANIAC !!



PPS: THE “ SAME PEOPLE “ WHO WERE WAITING FOR THE CRAFT

YESTERDAY, WERE THERE AGAIN TODAY ??? STILL HOPING TO JUMP

ABOARD FOR PASTURES NEW !!! ONE GUYS SAID “ HE’D BEEN WAITING

TO GO TO MARS, SINCE THEY FIRST REVEALED THE FACE IN THE

CYDONIA REGION !!! I DIDN’T WANT TO TELL HIM ABOUT THE WORK OF

“ CYKONOT “ , SO I JUST SAID “ YOU SHOULD TURN THAT PICTURE OF THE

“ FACE ON MARS “ …..UPSIDEDOWN ???. YOU MIGHT SEE SOMETHING

OTHER THAN WHAT ALL THE MAJOR SCIENTISTS AND IMAGE EXPERTS

ARE SAYING !!!



GOTTA GO PRACTISE MY BACKHAND SLICE

N.A.S.A LIES !!!