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Originally Posted by tpmputterman
My mood actually goes up and down so much latley that sometimes I think I am getting back into my old way of thinking, Fear ect...
TPM3
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It's a process... there will be good days and bad days. Pay attention to the internal dialog in your mind... pay attention to the words and the way you treat yourself. Every time you catch yourself saying or thinking anything fearful or unkind make the decision to turn it around. Breathe... detach from the thought and fill yourself with a feeling of love and gratitude.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tpmputterman
I feel very much alone even though I have many who care for me and I care for them.
TPM3
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You are not alone brother. There are many who have been going through the same kinds of experiences. I'm one of them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tpmputterman
Most of all the number thing is crazy to the point its comical to me. I mean its 20 times an hour to the point its annoying.
TPM3
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The number thing drove me absolutely up the wall until I decided to turn the experience around- What I did was turn it into a positive reinforcement exercise. Now every time I see the number patterns I say to myself "Yes! Thank you!... I am on the right path." then I pause for a moment... I use the moment as a focal point like a mantra... a reminder to fill my being with feelings of love, gratitude and good intention for myself and for all sentient beings.
It eventually gets easier and easier to catch yourself as you fall into the negative thought patterns... they will eventually have less and less of a hold over your thoughts... it's really very much like exercising your brain/thoughts to move in a different direction. The synapses in the brain form new connections and the old connections associated with the negative thought pathways eventually atrophy and dissolve.
It got freaky for me a couple of times when I actually experienced burning sensations in my brain... as if the ego was dissolving or burning away. I have been thinking of writing a blog entry on my website about it. I call it the "burning man" or the "man on fire" experience.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BASLQBHbqM