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With all due respect Warrior Servant:
I've been following this thread since the beginning and honestly I can say that many times you transpire real frustration and anger which is understandable based on your experiences but I think sometimes you could feel attacked when somebody who has not had that kind of experience is trying to understand something that is really complicated to explain.
I don't post much but this time I'd like to suggest you research into Dolores Cannon's work, I know you don't like hypnosis but at least you could read her books with all the information she has obteined from people just like you and perhaps you could have a better idea about the bigger picture, what you have lived it's not uncommon, what is very rare is that the person can remember so much information in his awaken state.
In her last interview in Coast to Coast last month she describes the three waves of souls that have come to the planet in the last 50 years or so and your story fits pretty well with the second wave.
The only problem I see is that you already have very rigid ideas about some topics but perhaps knowing more about your experiences and your plan for this life would help you to feel better and understand what the purpose of it all really is.
YOU have a huge purpose in this incarnation, you agreed to it before coming, it's not knowing more what is making you afraid and angry because even though you remember things you don't remember everything that happens "out there". Being afraid makes you think that the experiences are more negative than they really are.
I know you possibly read this and discard it quickly but I'm talking to you from my heart and I'm just trying to help, you are very confused but please remember that there is help available, you are not alone, you are not the only one, you can find out very easily what this is all about and you definitely can live a much better life with full understanding and knowledge about what you are really doing here, you are a beautiful soul that volunteered to help humanity as many others and because of that I truly respect and love you.
I could talk more about some experiences you have described but it's not necessary. If you are interested, there' are some threads here about Mrs. Cannon or just go to youtube, with 2 or 3 10 min. videos you'll get an idea about her work and knowledge.
God bless you.