I've kinda always been open to the idea of everything not nessecarily being like we are told. I'm not sure when my first thoughts about the world seen from different eyes occured, but I know it was quite early.
I was very interested and fascinated by UFO activity and the possibility of life elsewhere in the universe at about age 7. It wasn't something fed to me by anyone, I just always liked to think for myself and not always have someone telling me how it is. At one point during my first years of school I had learned the size, weight and distance between the celestial bodies in our own solarsystem. Sadly this obsession to numbers and the freethinking was quenched by hardship from my fellow students.
I have recently been diagnosed with "ADHD", though they will not label me as a prime example. I have the symptoms, but being somewhat more reflected and thoughtful made them throw it into a subshelf of the diagnose itself. It is to be said that I started this investigation myself, based on troubles it has given me in the past and present. Anger has been a large portion of my life, though it has almost always been unmotivated. It just was there, like someone else taking over and leaving me inside this shell of a body watching all the horrible things I did to myself. Cause that's what I did, damage myself and my non living enviroment. Psychologically I could destroy my parents, my mom more than anything. Even though I gained somewhat control over my temper, it was just stashed away and hidden behind a protective layer of excess energy. When that energy depleted during a new challenging period, I lost the protection and the anger was yet again emerging. Now my anger, my frustration and my annoyance over everything is gone. It's not stashed, it's gone. I can't imagine any reasons anymore as to why I should be bothered to get angry like I was before. I can still get angry, but it is a good anger. It's a productive and determed kind of anger based on the actual moment.
I am currently medicated for this diagnose, and despite everything I have read about ADHD, the critics and skeptics, I must confess that this medication made a change. I'm proud to say it didn't change me, it rather amplified my ability to think for myself and derive conclusions based on my own observations and experience. I am now able to sit down, close the world out for a minute and just listen. Listen to the wind, the birds and most of all the "song" of the universe.
Every day now, I work to learn the universal language, to open myself to new posibilities and realities that I didn't have the patience to do before.
These shows, amongst other things, helps me to push boundries in the levels of thought I can achieve. Just too bad I don't know anyone in person yet that can communicate on the same level as me.
Well, this was kinda way more than I initially wanted to write, got a bit offtopic...but at least I got it off my chest.
