[Carol]

Thank you for your thoughts EpiphaMe.

Having seen and experienced the other side consciously it does have its lure and for a long time I would have preferred to be there then here. Then a decision was made to stay and help the ones I love. So being here, staying is really an act of self-sacrifice at a deep spiritual level. I had a vision.. saw the future of what would happen to my family if I were not here. It became clear to me that irrespective of my personal self-centered feelings, there were other past life considerations to take into account with this life. We adopted a child who is now 12 and she is no where near ready for any type of transition.

I'm also aware that if my husband was not here I would be ready to go in a heart beat only because life would seem so overwhelmingly for just one person to do what we do as a team. Yet, what others don't know is just how many peoples lives are affected by the work he does and the many past life commitments he made this time to help others during their transitions. We are a team, partners, soul mates. Our lives are much bigger then who we are as individuals and our commitment to others goes beyond our own personal desires. It is because we are together that our personal journey is much easier.. even though we do have our own individual challenges which must be dealt with sharing the load with another makes it fun for the most part.

Yet, I will share another experience. There was an ET contact once where hive mind was experienced. It really was quite amazing and one never feels alone when connected at this particular level with this particular group. However, it also became evident that this particular group did not know Divine Christ Consciousness and connectedness that can be experienced throughout the core of ones beingness. As much as I truly enjoyed the "hive" connection.. I wanted to be back in my own psyche space with myself. I truly am enjoying this experience of individuality as it is also unique and quite fulfilling in its own way. As my inner core is at peace, for the most part this experience of ones own conscious awareness is satisfying and feeds another different type of inner need and desire.

I been making observations about other's energy these past many months. For instance, this one person I observed was very angry and his energy created much chaos for many people. His negative energy was like a bad virus affecting many people and then those people's families. Energy.. toxic or healing. It is a choice after all.

So back to my confusion. I was thinking about how on one hand we are preparing for an off-grid living condition as a very possible situation with future sun activity. And then I was thinking of the different meditation experiments where we work as one to alter the future. I was also thinking of the galactic wave . And then I was thinking of how perfect a day it was weather wise and energy wise yesterday and just how grateful I was for this life and these experiences.

I was so enjoying what is was to be an individual just being productive and getting stuff done.. particularly sitting on the mower and mowing 4 acres with the air, the clouds and the beauty all around. It truly was a perfect moment in time and something to relish. I will take these experience back with me to the other side and share with my mates who stayed behind as after all, it is my sense that we are the Davy Crocket souls experiencing life on this earth.

My dilemma had more to do with wondering if I truly wanted to leave, "forever" this dimension and the gifts it offers.