no caste

a lot of the last month has been very strange. it's been strange experientially. I went through a period when I felt susceptible/receptive to radio waves and certain comforting radio stations in particular - I had to stop listening. something seemed so urgent. it all started with a 'quest' to understand modern exotic weapons and wanting to let people know that the world is not what we may know (I didn't anyway). it started as a 'revelation' about the enormity and scope ... more to follow if interested but tonight it's about feeling something is really different about my reality. I have no job. I have a weird scar on my back.

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so i've sensed energies and movements, intuited a lot, but really have been secluded. i've seen my family members. period. i took one phone call from a friend. i'd have to rely on outsiders to tell if if anything really went on. tangibly. i started buying newspapers again this week. i'm having trouble explaining myself ... my family is evidence based too, and i haven't shared a lot of details ... the job i could probably return to if i made a big re-commitment to it but i am tired. i hear the world differently now and doubt i could concentrate on it. to placate the family, i went to the doctor friday.

maybe others on this forum contribute through work, with colleagues & known players, i don't. just trying to figure it out freely. no associations, no gurus, no leader. just books, beliefs, inner associations. if anything happened, it was kind of improvising. or doing the drum (Father Time, Tom Waits) etc. it got bigger, maybe in relation to calls (info package send-outs via mail & email) i made spring 2008. feelings of distress. then and now, but different now. change of direction, very urgent.

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freedom. love. good. art. music. history. truth.