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-   -   How the World Views Canada (http://projectavalon.net/forum/showthread.php?t=19917)

Phtha 02-08-2010 05:46 AM

How the World Views Canada

Now that Vancouver is hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.

Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Norway )
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Humble Janitor 02-08-2010 06:09 AM

Re: How the World Views Canada
Oh my goodness. These questions just show the ignorance of some towards Canada.

I grew up about 10 minutes from the border with Quebec. It may not be like the rest of Canada but the stereotypes are still there, such as

1. It's really cold there (no ****!)
2. They all drink maple syrup
3. Canadian beer! Whooo! (not!)

Just what I've heard in my short life.

Wormhole 02-08-2010 07:04 AM

Re: How the World Views Canada
He he he, those are great answers! Thanks for that!

no caste 02-08-2010 08:50 AM

Re: How the World Views Canada
Phtha, priceless! :lmfao:

From Banff, cabbies and tour operators -

1. Is falling snow always white?
2. What's the best trail to take a bike on to see a cougar?
3. At what elevation do deer turn into elk?
4. The highway sign said wildlife crossing, why isn't there any?!!
5. How much does that mountain weigh?
6. Is this all natural?
7. Are the animals with collars tame?
8. Can you turn the fog off?

Mizar 02-09-2010 03:07 AM

Re: How the World Views Canada
Those are all good. Really, it's good to see so many from somewhere else enjoying the City now, there is a really cool vibe in town now with National flags hanging from Balconies where the Athletes are staying, and lots of people in the local Restaurants and walking around the Seawall every day.

Wormhole 02-09-2010 05:20 AM

Re: How the World Views Canada
Hope to see you out there, Mizar. :original:

Phtha 02-09-2010 07:07 AM

Re: How the World Views Canada
You guys are brave souls... I hope you have a great time.
Lemme guess...
Beer gardens? mmmmm :drink_nl::lmfao:

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